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8. ENJOY YOURSELF Don't start taking dating too seriously, it ismeant to be fun not a sophisticated type of torture.
6.PAMPER YOURSELF AND BOOST YOUR COMFIDENCE. You have beenthrough the mangle, but don't let [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] yourself be destroyed. Thinkabout all the things that make you a unique person, as well asthe reasons why you deserve to be loved in your own right.Everyone has the right to be loved, so don't lose the sight ofthis fact. Have a manicure and a pedicure, go and get someretail therapy and enjoy yourself. Even if you are a [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] guy buyyourself something that you have been wanting for ages. Go ontreat yourself. Make yourself feel important and valued as aperson.
3. BURY ANY EVIDENCE OF YOUR [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] EX Whilst you are feeling annoyed,angry or disgruntled, and let down, destroy any painfulreminders of your ex, such as photos. Try not to listen to musicthat meant something to both of [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] you, it is OK to wallow in yourgrief, but do not rub salt in an open wound. This does not meanthat you will never listen to that music again, you may evenspeak to your ex again, but give yourself an even money chanceto heal now.
5. SURVIVE THE FIRST WEEK Right you have managed the firstcouple of days and you are now thinking what next. [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] Find the hopelevels inside you, underneath the layers we all have differenthope [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] levels. When Pandora opened the box, all the evil in theworld came out, but left inside the box was hope. It is ourultimate defence that we believe that a situation will getbetter. If you are struggling to find hope then dig down deeper.Hope stops you wallowing in your own misery, if you need tomope, do it in the early on, and then set a time limit.Wallowing for too long a period of time, makes you feel worse,and reduces your self esteem. Set realistic time limits to moveon as fast as possible. Yes I know it hurts, we all know thatbecause it has happened to every single one of us at sometime oranother. If you still have a desperate need to wallow then sayto yourself - yes I can every day from say 3.00. P.M. - 3.30P.M., but focus on getting your head back together in theremaining times of the day. Force yourself to get out althoughit may be the last thing on the planet that you feel like doing.Try exercising during the week, and see how much better you feelafterwards.
Unfortunately there is no magic formula for surviving a dumping.However, to find someone you want to spend your life with, youhave to move on and plan a realistic time scale to move forward.Dating tips are just that, as everyone is an individual, andwhat works for one does not work for another. However there arefairly standard steps you can devise to succeed. There is noreason that you have to spend the rest of your life going out onyour own, and eating solitary TV dinners.
1. DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY. You may have been dropped, but itmay not be your fault. You may [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] have a holistic approach to youremotional life, but maybe your date did not. Even if you acceptthat the break up is coming, it still hurts, it is traumatic.Age is not a great help here, it is always difficult to acceptrejection.
4.MAKE A LIST Where you [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] have taken down the photographs of yourex, replace it with a list. Draw up a list of the things, thatreally annoyed you about your ex. No I don't believe you - therehas to be something!, if you are thinking he/she was perfect,you are idealizing him. The more humorous this list is thebetter you will feel, give yourself a laugh even if only througha veil of tears. Part of the pain of being dumped is that it issomething that is outside your control, you may accept that therelationship was pear shaped, and maybe you wanted to end it,but being dumped meant someone else did it to you. You willsurvive this, focus on the bad things, and try and accept thatyou perhaps should have wanted out anyway. There are occasionswhen you think that everything was hunky dorey, and it comes abolt out of the blue. That is tougher to accept, but accept ityou must. Strange things happen in life, but there is no waythat you can make someone love you. The reasons people fall inlove are as [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] diverse as the people who do it, but there is no wayyou can make someone do so. If you have done this then attemptto learn a valuable lesson, don't invest time in going down thatroad in the future.
7 GET BACK IN THE DATING ARENA After a month your psyche shouldbe starting to heal, think about your gaols, what do you wantout of dating, and make it happen.(at least in terms of datesrather than a long term relationship.
2. WALLOW AND GRIEVE FOR YOUR LOSS. Accept the fact that thefirst couple of days are the hardest mentally and that once youhave survived that you are on a roll to picking yourself up, anddusting yourself and getting back into the fray. If you feellike bawling your eyes out, and eating buckets of cookies,that's O. K. for a couple of days. If you need to get help andsupport from your friends then ask them to help. The mostdamaging thing that you can do [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] to your self esteem is to go backand contact your ex. That means e- mail, text and telephone, tryand [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] let it go. You are trying to pick yourself up to startagain, [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] there is no point in going back. You have to try and buryit with dignity, and whatever you have to do to achieve that,then go for it. If it means moping around, then mope. If itmeans having a makeover, then do it.
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