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Aspergers teenagers have a difficult time between the ages of 12 and 19. They are often socially excluded and can face rejection by their peers. They often act differently than other children their age and can have a hard time fitting in. Aspergers teenagers want to be accepted and liked, but they often don't know how to behave and communicate appropriately. School is demanding and they long for friends. It is hoped that your Aspergers child will survive the teen years with their self-esteem intact, a friend or two, knowledge that his family loves him and a high school diploma.
Some teens manage to navigate these years successfully. That can be made easier if your teen doesn't care what his peers think, so peer pressure is not effective. They might also focus on a special interest like chess or computers. This focus can go a long way in helping them to cope with adolescence. Encouraging your teen to develop special interests at this point in his life could be helpful. A hobby can also introduce him to people who share the same interest and friendships could begin. Sometimes your teen's interests might be appropriate for a younger child and this might lead to teasing. Boys may ridicule him for not knowing about or not being interested in sports. With your help, these things can be resolved. A problem for Aspergers teenagers is the fact that they often don't care about fads, clothing, celebrities, texting or using computers for social media. These things will have to be helped along by you. Help him to call and leave messages for friends and encourage him to make social arrangements. Encourage him to join school clubs, especially ones that match his interests.
Help your teen to become aware of teen trends, celebrities, rituals and school events. Help him to learn to talk about sports. Your teen doesn't have to tell everyone he [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] has Aspergers Syndrome. If he is comfortable, he might want to talk to other Aspergers teens online [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] through chat rooms or forums. This can be a great outlet for him. Just to be sure to monitor his online activity.
Your teenager might ignore personal hygiene. He might also wear clothes or a haircut that out of date or childish. Find a same sex friend who will help your teen chose appropriate clothes. Encourage your teen to maintain hygiene. Use a rewards system if you need to. Since they have no personal motivation to participate in hygiene, you will have to find a motivation for them.
Aspergers teenagers are generally not well-informed about [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] sex and dating. Boys may be very naïve or too forward with girls. Hormones can cause outbursts or meltdowns that the teen cannot handle. If they get angry, they may act out physically and possibly attack others. Teach your child about sex. Provide books for him to read. Choose books that are not overly clinical. Be specific and detailed about safe sex. If you avoid being judgmental or punitive, you will encourage your teen to confide in you. Share with him that masturbating is only for in private. Spelling things out in terms of "rules" tends to work for Asperger teenagers since Aspergers tends to make them thrive on rules. Establish rules such as "We have a rule in this house that teenagers should not have sex because they are too young to handle the problems and emotions that may occur." Rules make Aspergers teens feel comfortable and they will likely do as they are told.
Aspergers teenagers can develop problems with drugs and alcohol because they are sometimes eager to fit in with other teens. They don't have the ability to determine a "good" crowd of peers to be friendly with as opposed to a "bad" crowd. It can be easy to [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] convince an Aspergers teenager to buy or try drugs or alcohol since they lack judgment in this area. Be vigilant about where your son is and what he is supposed to be doing. Know his friends well enough to assess their character. Emphasize to your teen that drugs and alcohol are illegal. Since Aspergers teenagers tend to be rule-followers, this can help him to avoid trouble.
Aspergers teenagers might also have school problem's because they have to deal with more than one teacher. Adjusting to the new environment of each classroom everyday can be difficult and some teachers might even be hostile. Assignments can be overwhelming. Keep in contact with your teen's teachers to stay on top of how he is doing. Take into account that special education placement might be necessary, even if it never has been in the past. Make sure that your teen has a safe place to go when he is feeling overwhelmed. He will need somewhere to go where he can get his emotions in check, such as the school nurse, a teacher, guidance counselor of psychologist. If your teen experiences harassment or rejection at school and the staff does not help, a special education placement or a therapeutic boarding school can provide assistance for your teen from professionals in a social as well as an academic setting.
Instead of issuing orders to your [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] teen, as you may be used to doing since he was a small child, use reasoning and negotiation now. This will give him more control over his life and hopefully dispel any resentment he might feel towards you. He will be less likely to listen to you at this stage in his development, like most teenagers. He might exhibit anger and impatience. He might resist everything you want him to do and hate school. These feelings can lead to depression. Depression can require professional treatment and he might require counseling. Be aware that there is a real risk of suicidal feelings among Asperger's teenagers. If you have any worries, contact a professional psychologist or psychiatrist right away. If you [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] feel an immediate danger to your child, call emergency services.
Aspergers teenagers can be great drivers because their lives are so rule-driven. Have your son carry a cell phone at all times along with a card that explains Aspergers Syndrome. He can use the card to share with any police officer who might stop him. Role play with him so he knows what to do and say if he is stopped by law enforcement. Summer jobs are another place where Aspergers teenagers can excel. Find a job that is in line with your teen's special interests or one that has limited public contact. Occupational therapy will help your son get ready for adulthood. Special programs can teach job and living skills to your Aspergers teenager. This will reduce his dependence on you. Above [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] all, always ask for help from professionals when you or your [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] son needs it.
It can difficult [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] to be the [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] parents to a teenager, and Aspergers can make the challenges even bigger. However by adapting some of the strategies that I have mentioned and having a little faith, the situation can improve for both parents and teenager.
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Dave Angel [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] is a Social Worker and has been helping parents of Teenagers with Aspergers online for over four years. Get your free report 'Secrets to Parenting your Child with Aspergers' Guide at [link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
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