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<table border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1" width="100%" class="forumline"> <tr> <th class="thCornerL" width="22%" height="26">Author</th> <th class="thCornerR">Message</th> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row1"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>xkekg34fa</b></span></td> <td class="row1" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://picsrv.fora.pl/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Thu 12:56, 31 Oct 2013<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: abercrombie Anger And Expectations--Part I</span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody">Anger And Expectations--Part I <br /> As a general psychological rule, and this is true for most people, <br /> anger is set up by unmet expectations. Expectations are mental, <br /> physical or emotional and may be rational, or irrational. <br /> They can be situational, chronic, last a long time or not long at <br /> all, and be big or small. Expectations can be internal or external, <br /> [url=http://www.riad-marrakesh.fr]abercrombie[/url] subtle or gross, material or spiritual, value-based or attitudinal, <br /> and on and on. When our expectations are not met, other feelings <br /> can come to us as well, such as sadness or fear, depending upon our <br /> personalities, state of intoxication, maturity, mental or physical <br /> illnesses, state of overload, family-of-origin or other training. <br /> Recall that anger is a survival impulse. It is designed <br /> to "power us up," to give us "umph" to overcome obstacles. Imagine <br /> you are told that you are going to get a raise in salary at work, <br /> and then two days later your boss says, "Never mind." Your <br /> expectation was to receive more money. 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The verbal <br /> part of that response might include some "volume," and later there may <br /> follow some physical reactions. What if you were already anxious about <br /> money? That would play into your reaction. Or, what if you are <br /> anxious a lot, as in suffering from an anxiety disorder? What if you <br /> had an extra beer when you found out the news? Did that loosen some <br /> of your controls? Then, how would you react? <br /> These "conditions" affect your response. Ideally, you don't already <br /> have money sensitivities or an anxiety disorder. Ideally, you have not <br /> been drinking, so your "sensorium" is intact. Ideally, you will <br /> approach your boss and tell him or her that his or her [url=http://business-social.fr/event/96351]hollister outlet Affaire Boutin Pécresse propose de publier la liste des missionnés[/url] behavior was not <br /> to your liking. You will do this assertively, right? (If you are not <br /> clear on just what assertiveness is, see The Five Steps of Assertiveness <br /> by this same author.) Otherwise, be mindful that this is the boss you <br /> are talking to.. <br /> We all carry a million expectations around in our heads. We don't <br /> usually think about them, or even have an ongoing, conscious awareness <br /> of what they are. They function automatically, lurking somewhere in <br /> the back of our minds, only to sabotage our feelings when one of them is <br /> violated. They exist because we absorbed them into our brains <br /> automatically when [url=http://www.shewyne.com/woolrichoutlet.html]woolrich outlet[/url] we were young, then more or less routinely as we <br /> matured. Here are some more common examples. <br /> I'm driving and approach a stoplight, which has just turned red. <br /> I stop. Why? Because the cross traffic drivers have a green light <br /> and they go, knowing (expecting) I will stop so they can go through the <br /> intersection. In this case, the cross traffic drivers and I are <br /> following the law, which is a form of encoded expectations. Drivers <br /> need these expectations to avoid crashes. <br /> "Norms," are the larger category of expectations, in this case <br /> having to do with the usual driving behaviors (stopping at lights that <br /> are red, driving at the speed limit, etc.). "Values," in this case, <br /> assigns a sense of importance to each behavior that conforms to or <br /> violates the law. In [url=http://www.par5club.com/louboutin.php]louboutin[/url] other words, I think it is important to follow <br /> traffic laws so there are no accidents. "Judgments," in this case are <br /> an additional level, characterized by [url=http://www.mxitcms.com/abercrombie/]abercrombie[/url] a sense [url=http://www.rtnagel.com/airjordan.php]jordan pas cher[/url] of right and wrong, better <br /> [url=http://www.teatrodeoro.com/hollisterde.php]hollister deutschland[/url] or worse, less or more "appropriate," often rendered by drivers who [url=http://www13.plala.or.jp/gakuki3/cgi_bin/aska/aska.cgi]woolrich sito ufficiale Ségol[/url] think <br /> other drivers didn't live up to their expectations. This last category <br /> is based upon the previous categories' functioning, and sets up very <br /> critical reactions to violations of expectations. Usually, this last <br /> category functions as a kind of psychological tinderbox, a flashpoint <br /> from which anger is launched, and then later amplified. Unchecked, <br /> anger, at this [url=http://www.tagverts.com/barbour.php]barbour deutschland[/url] juncture is very likely to erupt, to cause you to act <br /> badly. [url=http://www.rtnagel.com/airjordan.php]nike air jordan pas cher[/url] In [url=http://www.par5club.com/louboutin.php]louboutin pas cher[/url] this case, acting badly while driving is dangerous. <br /> -Dr. Griggs</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="http://picsrv.fora.pl/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> </table>
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